"The Fashion of the Christ" by Fra Bartolommeo

Here we see Jesus, the Son of God, modelling one of his latest lines of informal wear. Jesus has just reached the end of the runway and is performing a classic pivot that is mimicked by fashion models to this very day. His innovative use of plain white fabric was considered a refreshing fashion breakthrough at the time. Observe how the billowing fabric sweeps across the exposed expanse of his chest revealing a sexy six pack. Then over the shoulder and down across his enticing pelvis which he thrusts forward seductively.

Jesus preached forgiveness but it was well known that if you wore a black robe with brown sandals (or even a small amount of plaid) that you'd be certain to suffer time in Hades. God forbid that you were one of the poor souls to end up on his annual "10 Worst Dressed List"!

Jesus was stylistically a minimalist and loose fitting garments were his specialty. His radically simple designs so infuriated the fashion establishment (stewing beneath their overly ornate, jewel encrusted vestments and golden helmets) that they petitioned Rome to have him crucified. Ironically, this led to the crucifix itself becoming a hot fashion item and it is still worn by many of Jesus's followers to this very day.

The halo caught on for a while and in some early paintings you can see that it perhaps became a bit too large to carry comfortably on the head. It fell into fashion obscurity and can no longer be seen on any of Jesus's followers.

His primp posse of Apostles would go on to relentlessly preach what came to be known as "The 10 Fashion Commandments". Here are a few of the ones which remain relevant today:

-- Sister Randy