"My Hero" by Jacques-Louis David

Jacques-Louis David has captured, with his exquisite brushwork, the exact moment when Telemachus has finally learned to lower the toilet seat after pissing. The utter relief of Eucharis's long frustration is superbly illustrated here.

The dog, in the lower right, was meant to symbolize ambivalence - that is, the dog as the disinterested observer who will drink out of the toilet regardless of whether the seat is up or down.

An alternative intepretation of this masterpiece has been suggested. Could it be that Telemachus has just killed (with his spear) a large spider that has been tormenting Eucharis in the kitchen? Or perhaps (as some believe) Telemachus has just opened a tightly sealed jar of peanut butter.

It should also be noted that recent research indicates that Eucharis may actually have been a battery operated automaton. The large battery, there on her back, appears to have run down and she collapses, powerless, onto the shoulder of Telemachus.

-- Sister Randy