"Newlyweds" by Martin Schongauer

Here we see Tom Thumb with his new wife Donna just after coming off a very lucrative road trip with Barnum and Bailey's circus. Most art historians believe that Tom's financial success, rather than his (ahem) other assets, were the key to winning over the beautiful and popular Miss Virginia.

Because of the disproportianate size of the 2 lovers, the common misconception was that Donna was Tom Thumb's mother. Thus she was often referred to as Mother Donna or as she has commonly come to be known, MaDonna.

Here the young couple is shown in a tender embrace. Apparently the priest has just announced: "... you may now burp the groom".

Tom, in his eagerness to consummate the marriage, has hastily stripped off all his clothing and is gropping his bride in a frenzy of sexual anticipation.

It is rumored that a portion of the marriage vows went something like this: "... to honor and obey in sickness and in health and to help reach things that are too high up on the shelf, so long as you both shall live."

-- Sister Randy