Dear Sister Randy,

I rather like to eat Ruben's sandwich every now and then.  Does this make me a cannibal or a thief?

Kisses on all your pretty pink parts,

Edvard the Munch

Dear "Edvard the Munch",

There is no sin here!

As you no doubt already know, a "Ruben" Sandwich is often confused with the more widely known "Reuben" Sandwich. The Ruben Sandwich (to which you refer) is a sexual position in which two Rubenesque women (with their doughy folds of savory flesh) are "sandwiched" around a local hunk of Horny Beefcake. The infamous Earl of Sandwich would often ride throughout the countryside and create these sexual sandwiches using a variety of unwitting peasants - as illustrated in the painting that you provided (Peter Paul Ruben's, "The Earl of Sandwich Making a Ruben Sandwich"). Because of the gullible, unsophisticated nature of the participants they were often called "rubes" which is of course a term still used to this day.

By "eating" a "Ruben" sandwich you appear to be alluding to your own oral participation (as a condiment perhaps) in one of these savory sandwiches.

I must say that you've swept me off my feet with your lovely comment regarding my "pretty pink parts". So you're a cannibal and a thief eh? Perhaps as your penance, we can meet somewhere where you can Nibble my Ear and Steal my Heart? Where we can create "sandwiches" of our own? A "Ham & Cheese" or "Baloney on Sourdough" sounds particularly enticing.

Lettuce Relish the Thought,
Sister Randy