Dear Sister Randy,

My sister's tooth fell out and she left it under her pillow. The Tooth Fairy took the tooth and left her some money. Well, as awful as it sounds, I stole the money. When my sister woke up, the tooth was gone and so was the money. How can I make amends?

Ripped off the Tooth Fairy (and my sister)

Dear Ripped off the Tooth Fairy (and your sister),

What a scoundrel! Send me your real name so that I can publish it to the world - you coward!

Your only way out of this insidious nightmare is to devote your life to being a Fairy Enforcer. It's not commonly known but there are many other fairies whose work is just as important as the Tooth Fairy. A Fairy Enforcers job is to enforce the proper exchange rates as listed below:

(NOTE: All the following items must be placed under the pillow and exchanged with the specified sum within 24 hours)

All exchange rates are to be annually adjusted for inflation.

Sister Randy